even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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