Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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