Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
