It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize