And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
