Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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