Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
