Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
