I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
