the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
3 2 1 whiskey
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
