I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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