exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
