if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Randomize
