So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
