and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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