This is not my ceiling
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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