Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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