I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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