OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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