11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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