not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
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I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We are all done wearing pants today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.