Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashianâ€™s Have Rocked
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom