Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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(813): View more from Florida

I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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(863): View more from Florida

Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.

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(720): View more from Colorado

turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(585): View more from New York

im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker

(914): View more from New York

Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.

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(907): View more from Alaska

My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed

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