I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
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My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
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My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.