i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
two words...techno handjob
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
