p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
