i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
