when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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