Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
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That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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