FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My cat gives me a boner
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
