Non-Jews are for practice
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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