question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
