This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
