I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
