Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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