dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im holly from the hills drunk
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
