i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
