nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
