so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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