3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
