u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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