How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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