it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
