how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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