My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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