hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
