I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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