She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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