Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
