Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
