Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
