would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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