Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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