I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize