also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is the prime rib incident all over again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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