she was so not down for the gang bang
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
