if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
