Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just gargled with NyQuil
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize