And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
