Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Still dying that you shit outside
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize