every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize