I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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