Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
