please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
