I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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